Shakespeare. Heard of him?

"Shakespeare, you know, lived long ago,
In the days of good Queen Bess, sir.
And as a bard, you'll find it hard,
To beat him, you'll confess, sir.

It takes some days to read his plays,
So a quicker way I have spotted,
And now you'll hear, my own idea,
Of Shakespeare, snap shotted, or neatly potted.

Julius Caesar:
Julius Caesar was a nut,
And a high old cockalorum.
And Brutus it was that stabbed him,
In a place they called the Forum.

Mark Antony, sarcastically,
Turned everything contrary,
And Brutus died of suicide,
With a sword in his little merry.

Antony and Cleopatra:
A soldier free was Antony,
Till Cleopatra mashed him.
They sailed in style, right up the Nile,
And then the Romans thrashed him.

Mark Antony flies, the lady dies,
For a snake gave her the bite, sir.
She fell down dead upon her bed,
And serve her damn well right sir.

Macbeth:
Old king Macbeth put men to death,
And found it exciting.
Till Macduff came and spoiled his game,
And they both started fighting.

"Lay on, Macduff, for I'm hot stuff"
Was the cry of old Macbeth, sir.
But he was gored on Macduff's sword,
And died for want of breath, sir.

Hamlet:
When Hamlet saw the ghost, O low!
He did get in a lather,
He said I'm the bogey man,
But once I was your father.

So kindly kill your uncle Bill,
And Hamlet slew his foe, sir,
But when he found Ophilia drown,
He was killing himself also, sir.

Merchant of Venice:
Into the court, old Shylock brought,
A youth who owed him money,
You're in my mesh, one pound of flesh,
Quoth Shylock, "Pay up sonny."

But Portia's awake, the flesh you may take,
But not one drop may he bleed, sir.
Old Shylock cursed, the court dispersed,
And the judge went home to feed, sir.

Romeo and Juliet:
A sweet little pet, called Juliet,
To Romeo got wed, sir.
She drank a drug, mixed in a jug,
And he thought she was dead, sir.

His life he takes, the lady wakes,
And finds him dead for certain.
The silly little elf, then kills her little self,
And that brings down the curtain."


~~

Now be a little fair, and give a round of claps there,
Though don't you wonder who wrote this fine scrip?
In my head he's tall, and wise beyond all,
His fine grey blazer measures to the hip.

Now don't you accuse me of building this fantasy,
He's very much real, now get a grip.
But if I were to be true, I'd very well be telling you,
My great grand father met him on a ship.

~~

So, my maternal grandmother's uncle happened to meet this gentleman on a ship who recited this beautiful tribute to Shakespeare. He memorized it, and then passed it on, and it finally came to me and my siblings through our grandmother. May be I can also memorize it and pass it on one day! Till then, it's here for you all to enjoy.